i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
