she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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