my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
