i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
