We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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