just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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