Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
