How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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