It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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