fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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