All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
