her vagine was all disorganized.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
