now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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