The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
