Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
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You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
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She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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