You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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