love makes seman taste better
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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