I wanna bring you to show and tell
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
