just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
