I look better un-naked...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
