You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
