Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
