I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
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Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
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One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
where are my eyebrows?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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