So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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