Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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