I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
