white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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