i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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