was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
