never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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