who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
