Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
