Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
