you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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