i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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