my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
