Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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