Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
