Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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