tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize