You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize