I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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