when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just had sex on a roof
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
