a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
