you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
