Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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