I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize