Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
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Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
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rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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