I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
