Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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