Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm going to jail i love you
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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