Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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