Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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