if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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