theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
