I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
