I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
