it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
