She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
