sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
