On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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